George Carlin, R.I.P.

Obit here.

Crap &, yes, here those other seven words:

And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.




My emphasis.

Polite?

I think hilarious.

Via Dependable Renegade.

Harvey Korman, R.I.P.

Obit here.

Sunday Morning Videos

I wish I had more time. This looks like fun. Via the comments at Sadly, No!

The post the comment came on featured this:



Well?

Laugh, Don't Cry

Just too funny. The first video discusses teevee Christians, the second, bigoted racial profiling. Via Crooks & Liars.

Absolutely Brilliant

Via Crooks & Liars. Just brilliant. Just right on.

A Little Vet Humor

That would be veterinarian humor. Thanks GW.

There are three religious truths:

a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

& She's Canadian

& they have a successful single payer health care system which is bad. Funny way to start off the week, but I'll take it. Here's part of it, but you need to read the rest of the General's post.

Surprisingly, Hillary Klinton, a known Vogonzuelan, is going with something a bit more in keeping with traditional concepts of morality. Her theme, Celine Dion's You and I, has the opposite effect on people. Listening to it causes a man's little soldier to crawl up inside itself and hide, thus making fornication impossible for at least a month.

Speaking Of Food

Or Lutherans &, well, you know what they eat. Here's another bit of truth from Patriotboy. Heehee.

The God damned lutefisk-eating bastards breed like rabbits. They've overrun the whole upper Midwest and turned it Lutheran. If we'd shipped them the moment they arrived, Minnesota would be as Baptist as an illicit hand job behind the Piggly Wiggly.

Think about it. No more hot dishes. No more "you betchas." No more Garrison Keillor. If you want to sell that ethnic cleansing plan of yours, you got to bring up the Swedes.

HAHAHABWAHAHAHAHA

Enjoy. Then weep.

Pat Oliphant

Cheney

Good cartoon.

Personal Laughs

I just laughed for 5 minutes. The cause was a piece by Matt Taibbi, via AlterNet via Crooks & Liars. Mr. Taibbi is taking on that supreme wanker Joe Klein. Joe Klein is the stealth "I've always been against the war" pundit. He's a true dick. The article by Mr. Taibbi that caused me the great mirth &, BTW, I feel physically better, contained these jewels, first, what made me laugh:

Beyond that, what you say doesn't even make any sense. For most of us, if we thought there was any chance this thing could work, we'd have been for it, or at least not so violently against it. Instead, our opposition to the war was based on our absolute conviction that it would end in disaster -- which it incidentally has. But according to Klein, if we see a guy step off the top of the Empire State Building, we're supposed to root for him to nail the dismount. The whole issue is irrelevant and absurd. This is a catastrophe, not a baseball game. "Rooting" is a kid's word; grow the fuck up.
....
I think they're all full of shit -- Klein, McCain, Kerry, all of them. But especially Klein. He is the living, breathing incarnation of American "conventional wisdom" -- and what American "conventional wisdom" is is a spineless, slavish, power-worshipping watcher of polls who has no problem whatsoever denying today what he said yesterday, and is mostly interested in making sure he still has invitations to the right Beltway parties.
....
Let's get this straight: there are no "leftists" in modern-day America. Or, rather, there about ten of them, and you can find absolutely every single one of them at the next antiwar or anti-anything protest in Washington; they all fit in one section of the park behind the White House, where you can find pretty much all of them passing out small stacks of socialist fliers, mainly to each other. These socialists are committed, dedicated, utterly serious political activists, which makes them absolutely atypical Americans, which is why there are so few of them.

The rest of the people that the Kleins of the world are calling "leftists" are mostly cautious consumers who watch a lot of Netflix movies, have maybe read Love in the Time of Cholera once or twice, and whose most aggressive step in the direction of socialism is a vote in favor of increased school spending. They might drive a foreign car, or willingly see a movie with subtitles. If that makes them "leftists," what word are we going to use for real leftists?

Now I think Love in the Time of Cholera is a great novel & anyone who as read it once, much less twice, as potential. But it is also true that they have no understanding of what it means to be "left." What really does pass as socialism is voting for school spending. & that is too bad for America. Matt Taibbi is just a great writer. I think there are more than 10 leftists left in America, but his point is well taken. Go read the whole thing.

We All Laughed On Christmas Eve Eve, That Would Be The 23rd

Sneezing panda, priceless!

Via Dr. Turk.

What's The Matter With Kansas?

New law?

In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.
....
Violators of the new law may face punishments that include jail time, stiff fines, and rehabilitative education and training to rid organisms suspected of evolutionary tendencies. Repeat offenders could face chemical sterilization.
....
Some warn that the strict wording of the law could have a deleterious effect on Kansas' mostly agricultural economy, since it also prohibits all forms of man-made artificial selection, such as plant hybridization, genetic engineering, and animal husbandry. A police raid on an alleged artificial-insemination facility outside McPherson, KS on Friday resulted in the arrest of a farmer, a veterinarian, four assistants, one bull, and several dozen cows.

Oh, it's The Onion.

I'm A Thief

I'm just going to steal this post from the incomparable Tbogg. It made me laugh, then snicker, then get a little pissed. All good states of physical being.

Bull Headed

I know I've told this story before, but too bad, here it goes again:

Back in the day, when we were living in a different house, we had a dog-door installed for Cooder the Best Dog In the World. Because our house was located on the edge of a canyon we used to have problems with opossums and raccoons coming into the yard who had no qualms about attempting to come inside looking for a snack. Like most dog doors the one we had installed came with a security door, in this case made out of sheet metal, that slid down in order to block critters from using it from either side. Occasionally, okay...lots of times, I would forget to pull up the security door and Cooder, thinking it was free and clear, would clickity-clack clickity-clack across the room and smack his head (thwack!) up against the door. Now most dogs would either bark to be let out or would deploy the Devastating Big-Eyed Imploring Look of Sadness to get a little help here. Not Cooder. Cooder would go back up to the door and press his head against it, leaning forward on his little stumpy basset legs because he knew, he just knew, that... it... was... going... to... open eventually. I could sit there for almost five minutes and he wouldn't move; he'd just lean. Cooder was a sweet dog, but he was never short-listed for a MacArthur Grant.

Which brings us to George W. Bush:

White House officials said Wednesday that President Bush would renominate six of his earlier choices to sit on the federal appeals court, leaving Democratic senators and other analysts to ponder what message he is sending.

At least four of the nominations have been declared dead on arrival in the Senate by Democrats who have consistently opposed them as unacceptable. All six nominations will remain before the Senate through the lame-duck session of Congress and then will expire.

When the 110th Congress is seated in January, Mr. Bush can deliver another list of judicial nominees to the Senate, which will by then have a Democratic majority.

Mr. Bush’s motive in sending up the nominations has been closely analyzed, with several Democrats and liberals labeling it as provocative and a sign that he does not intend to seek compromise as he suggested he would after Republican losses in the elections last week.

[...]

Senator Patrick J. Leahy, Democrat of Vermont, who will be the leader of the Judiciary Committee, said, “Barely a week after the president promised to change course by working in a bipartisan and cooperative way with Congress, it is disappointing that he has decided to ‘stay the course’ on judicial nominees.”

But Edward Whelan, the president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center, who has supported Mr. Bush’s judicial nominations throughout the first term, said Democrats were engaging in “rhetorical gamesmanship.” He said that despite the changed numbers in the Senate, Mr. Bush was not obliged to offer a unilateral surrender. He said the president was resubmitting the nominees for the lame-duck session because Democrats had refused to comply with the usual courtesy and moved to have the nominations expire at the last recess.

The four nominees whose chances of confirmation are viewed as nearly impossible are: William J. Haynes II, the Pentagon’s general counsel who was involved in setting many of the interrogation policies for detainees; William G. Myers III, a longtime lobbyist for the mining and ranching industries and a critic of environmental regulations; Terrence W. Boyle, a district court judge in North Carolina; and Michael B. Wallace of Mississippi, a lawyer rated unqualified for the court by the American Bar Association.

Six years in office and he still hasn't learned a damned thing